EVOLVING LEADERSHIP: WHY EMPATHY, OPENNESS AND VULNERABILITY ARE MODERN LEADERSHIP SKILLS.

There’s always a case for thinking feelings do not belong in the workplace – and let’s face it, many of us have worked in businesses with this idea, or even attended workshops that train how to reduce your emotional response at work.

Qualities like empathy, openness and vulnerability have long been derided as optional “soft skills”. 

And if you reveal this side of yourself in business?  It’s has historically often seen as a sign of leadership weakness, not necessarily strength. In fact, your ability to even be a leader could have been questioned.

Equally, you may have worked in teams where rightness, being the ‘expert’ and 100% certainty are heavily rewarded.

The idea of effective leadership, as many of us have come to know it, has been a lower-emotion, higher-control approach where being the ‘authoritative expert’ is usually expected and feelings and work are separate, not blended. 

 But (thankfully) a growing amount of global research tells us that in order to lead a more successful, even joyful business, we need to embrace the side of ourselves typically referred to as “feminine”.

And while labelling traits as masculine or feminine may reflect a certain mainstream view, not necessarily fact, it's an interesting way to think about what works in business today.

Given that 87% of CEOs see a direct link between workplace empathy and business performance, as do 79% of HR professionals, it’s clear that the days of leadership old-style are not necessarily the best approach.

Over the past year, headlines like “It Takes Strength to be an Empathetic Leader” and “Are Feminine Leadership Traits the Future of Business?” are fueling new conversations on how we can embrace all sides of self at work, especially as leaders. 

We are witnessing a shift, and in this blog post, I’m describing several traits we can all nurture. Not just for the sake of our business, but also for ourselves and those we work with.

1. Empathy 

Empathy – feeling with others – is different to sympathy – feeling for others. It’s the ability to stand in another’s shoes, and have an understanding of the way others receive and perceive information.

Some business leaders may only start to take empathy seriously when something serious or “big” happens. 

Instead, we can be tuned in to the smaller, everyday ways we can feel with others, like considering how people may (or may not) perceive our actions, and listening to understand another perspective, instead of listening just to respond.

If you’re tapping into your ability to empathise, it’s a sure way to improve trust, and build a wholehearted business based on a genuine understanding of people’s real (and diverse) needs. 

Ask yourself:

Do you have an understanding of how the people in your team listen and learn best? There are multiple ways to develop new conversational and learning styles in a more engaging way, to foster a deeper understanding of each other’s need and strengths. 

2. Vulnerability 

Along the same lines, the need for a shield around us sometimes makes us feel pressured to be “right”, which is part of a broader culture of putting vulnerability last – especially for leaders who (understandably) are keen to appear 100% informed and self-assured at all times.  

But here’s the problem with a lack of vulnerability. It can also lead to a lack of innovation, because it increases the difficulty of accepting new ideas, fosters a closed approach to the unknown, and may even hinder our ability to get the most out of meetings. 

A lack of vulnerability may also, over time, slowly erode trust - because now more than ever, leaders who show their humanity are the leaders who empower us to be open to new perspectives.

Consider being open with your limitations and deliberately asking for different perspectives on a more regular basis.

Embrace the power of the unknown - you never know where it might lead and I can guarantee, it won’t keep you either leading or being in the same space.

3 and 4: Patience and Curiosity 

We all know being impatient and fixed in our mindset isn’t making us happier or more productive.

 For some, perhaps it’s about needing fast results or the fear of the unknown. But the problem with this in a business environment? It often leads to anxiety and frustration for yourself and those who work with you. 

Not only that, but a lot of people need space and time to ponder for real creative ideas to surface.

 Business is fast-paced, with a lot of different projects, and complex is the new norm to navigate. It can make it very difficult to rationalise doing something that takes time to simmer slowly, with no guarantee of a positive outcome. It’s downright uncomfortable in this space of ‘unknown’ when we are rewarded to be ‘knowers’. And that’s understandable.

 However, it’s important to also take a long-term view, to stay open to new possibilities and to practice the art of going slow(er). Slower is where noticing change, difference and gaining understanding is available. 

This is where we can find sustainable pace, not burn out. 

This is the space where we can begin to be informed and generate more insight for innovation.

5. Humility 

When we’re caught up in a culture of self-promotion (overt or covert), we may be less present to recognising, rewarding and celebrating the strengths in others. This can not only leave us eventually feeling empty, but it also means we are fostering an environment where it’s permissible for others to do the same. 

Ego is a sophisticated tool we use to cloak our insecurities, our perceived vulnerabilities, mis-trust - and it fuels cultural cracks.

 In contrast, great leaders seek to elevate all. 

They generate psychological safety, abundant thinking and ways of being for the whole team. And when good things happen they openly share the credit, which paints a compelling picture for others to feel passionate about the difference they’re making, not just for themselves, but for others too.

6. Inclusiveness 

Picture this: the same group of people sit around the same table in the same room, to come up with a different plan. 

What’s missing? 

As we grow a business, it’s vital to listen to and embrace many perspectives, not just those of a safe, same few.

 Deliberately seek perspectives from those who may have a good reason to disagree with you. Hire, meet and work with others who see, know and do things differently. 

Allow all new ideas to be heard from people in all areas of your business, without fear of reprehension. Inclusiveness is also about… 

7. Open listening

I can often tell a good leader by the way they listen to others and invite 

Effective listening means paying whole-body attention to another person, making eye contact, asking open questions and responding with curiosity.

Put simply, it’s listening to genuinely understand, not to respond. And it’s one of the most powerful things we can do to fuel effective conversations and trust.

8. Kindness

So what improves when leaders are guarded with their time, contacts, advice and support? Honestly, nothing - business planning, staff morale, client relationships all feel the effect. 

The way to prevent this is to practice real kindness and generosity: it’s less about grand gestures and more about putting the incremental time and effort into making sure you’re open and abundant with how you show up for those around you.  

But when you’re busy that is much easier said than done. That’s why it’s important to be smart with how you schedule and plan your time, and also focus on:

9. Balance 

The state of “busy” makes us feel as though we constantly need to be “in” our business, not “on” it. 

Like a set of scales, we have to balance our time and energy so they’re in harmony, not tilting in the wrong direction.

 The snowballing effect of busy-culture is that we feel exhausted, aggrieved and - in many cases - irritated. 

We lose the ability to be mindful of the present moment, which has the opposite effect that leaders want to achieve.

 So instead, treat balance like you would any other non-negotiable item in your calendar.

Schedule it in. 

The first meeting of the day, is meeting yourself. 

Every leader needs time to reflect and recharge, even getting up 20 minutes earlier for a morning walk or a quiet moment of journaling to set your intention for the day ahead. Focus on where you are going over ‘letting the day run you’.

Because in order to lead well, we must also be well. 

So there we have it. 

Some easily embraceable traits and a few honest truths about what I’ve seen really helps modern business leaders to thrive. 

 Over to you.

 Are you embracing any of these traits to help boost success and productivity in your business?  Feel free to post in the comments below. And if you like this post, please tell me about your business challenges as a leader and where you’re experiencing new successes.

 You might like to learn more about my new coaching program, The Impactful CEO – read more here. We also have some case studies to share if you would like to hear about the impact.

Want to talk?

 If you need a business coach or just a chat about your next direction, schedule a 30-minute strategy call with me today.